Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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