I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Sober January is a disaster.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
