yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
