I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
