Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
