Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
