problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
