I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
