We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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