Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
