so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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