All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
When are your genitals available?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
