what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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