Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
