Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize