Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
