we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
