I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
