You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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