i don't like sucking hair
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
