Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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