Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
