so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
