I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
