Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
