I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
