Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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