I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
