Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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