Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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