a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
