I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
