Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
