Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
