I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Your penis caused this!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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