I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
