Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think your dad took our porno
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
