It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
