bring money and cleavage
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
