one two three fourrrrnication!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
