Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
