Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
