So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
