My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
