Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
