I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
