So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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