to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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