Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
