We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
