Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
