"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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