The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
