just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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