I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
