Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
