I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
