the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
