Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
