Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
