It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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