she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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