You made me cry and you don't even care
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
