if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
